Twilight

I may or may not have become a Twilight nut.

It all started out innocently enough some months ago when me and Martin wanted to rent a movie but couldn’t agree on anything (he likes horrors, I like chick flicks) and ended up getting Twilight because it “looked interesting”. Well, I absolutely loved it. When the end credits rolled over the screen I had “post-watching depression” and then made myself forget all about it.

Until Thursday when I was on my way home from visiting my mum, and yet again my train to Herning was cancelled. That left me with 45 minutes to browse the huge department store connected to the central train station in Århus (Bruun’s Gallery) and I figured “I’ll just pop by the bookstore. I won’t buy anything, I’ll just look!”. ‘Just looking’ is not something I do very well and since I’d just finished “Lost in a Good Book” by Jasper Fforde, I needed something else to read. I almost bought the first of the Sookie Stackhouse books (I only ever buy fantasy books) but then I noticed the huge Twilight display. The first book in that series was actually cheaper than the Sookie book, and I figured that if I didn’t like it, I could probably pass it on to someone else.

I finished the book Friday noon after rushing home from school to read the remaining 150 pages. I’d finished the other 300 the day before while waiting for the train, riding the train, and after getting home. I got completely caught up in that universe and I now have “post-reading depression” and can’t wait to get my hands on the second book. Fortunately, my SIL (who is actually Martin’s step-brother’s girlfriend, but SIL is easier to write) has the whole series in English and will lend me the last 3 on Tuesday!! I also just purchased the Twilight DVD from Amazon (so much cheaper than buying it in Denmark) so I can watch the movie again.

I will say this, though. I love the story. I (most of the time) love the characters. I love the scenery and the plot and everything. I accidentally spoiled the rest of the books for myself by accidentally reading some stories about the cast of the books (couldn’t remember what half of them looked like in the movie) and I think some of it sounds ‘out there’, but still pretty good.
However… let’s just say it’s not the greatest piece of literature in the world, mkay? I’d like to give Stephanie Meyer a thesaurus and suggest a few alternatives to describing the colour of Edward’s eyes, the way his lips set in his face, or the way Bella moves her hair down to create a curtain between them. Fortunately, though, I’m a very visual person. I don’t need a lot of cues before I can see it all in my mind, so whenever words or scenes are repeated I kind of skip those passages and just see it in my head instead. Same goes for all those weird silences between them, or when I don’t really get why Bella gets so angry or why Edward thinks it’s so funny.

I’ve read a lot of people don’t “get” the whole Twilight thing, and honestly, I don’t really know what it is myself. I like good stories, and I’m willing to let poorly written scripts go if the plot is absorbing. I fill out the blanks myself. And then there’s the whole fantasy thing. I only ever read fantasy books because I don’t want to read books about real life. I really rarely do (can’t remember the last time I did) and my only exceptions are historical novels – they happened so long ago that they still seem fantastical to me. If I wanted to know about real life, I’d turn on the news, read a newspaper or just go outside. It’s the whole escapist thing, I think. It lets me get away from everyday worries and chores and lets me live in a universe that’s exciting and new. It may sound sad, but sometimes they fill that need for (romantic) attention, adventure, being outstanding, or clever ‘inventions’ that stimulate the brain (e.g. the Harry Potter universe) in a parallel universe that’s so close to our own that it almost feels real.

So it’s not a surprise that I feel sad once I’ve finished a movie or book like that. You have to go back to reality, no? Still, I wouldn’t trade those hours of complete engulfment in a book for anything. It’s so rare that I have time to read these days, and even rarer that I find a book that really catches my attention. It’s nice to look up and see that 3 hours have flown by and it’s gotten dark outside without you noticing. I have a bad habit of counting hours and minutes and never getting anything done, so it’s a relief to have something take that away. But now… now I have real-life chores to do. Like shower and possibly clean the bathroom and definitely keep writing on the project. We only have three weeks left until hand-in and I’ve gotten absolutely nowhere. I’m trying to relax this year and keep repeating the mantra “I will do the best I can right now, and if I only get a C, that’s okay too. It won’t impact my future or my relationships with the people I love, nor will it ruin my life. I did my best, and that’s all anyone can ask of me.”

I think it’s helping.

The fifteenth

We’re only halfway through November and I really, really suck at this NaNoBloMo thing. I think about it every day, “I could blog this!” but then I never get around to it because it’s dull or I think of something more interesting to do, like watch sitcoms on TV.

But today I actually have something fun to blog about! I got around to taking pictures of my newly-finished cabled hat. I didn’t block it because the bowl I usually use for blocking stuff I used to mix cookie batter last night, and I couldn’t be bothered to clean it. (On the upside, all of Martin’s dirty dishes have finally been done. I’d say they’d been there for about 2 weeks. Yeah.) But I was taking out the trash waiting for Twist Collective to come up (it’s up!) and figured that since I was already semi-dressed I might as well ask Martin to shoot some pictures before the sun went away. It’s been raining for weeks now and it’s getting old.

(Pardon the tired look; I’m still not over whatever it was that I had. It wasn’t really the flu, I haven’t had any fever since Friday, but I feel blergh.)

Pattern: #10 Cabled Cap by Suvi Simola from Fall Vogue 2009
Yarn: Rowan Kid Classic “Lipstick”, one skein
Needles: 5 mm. small circular and DPNs
Mods: None.

Comments: I managed to squeeze this out of a single skein! I only had 20 cm. of yarn left once I’d woven in the ends. I really like Kid Classic but I sometimes find it hard to work with. I feel 5 mm. needles are too large for this yarn; for me, I’d use 4.5 mm. or even 4 mm. to get a nicer, denser fabric. Perhaps it’ll change once blocked but I felt that my knitting was really loose at times.

I am a bit annoyed that my cables don’t look as nice as the sample in the magazine, but I put this down to the needle size. I think they would’ve been a bit plumper had I gone down a needle size. As it is, though, I don’t think they’re terrible. I really like the look of this hat, I think it suits my face and my personal style and it even matches the hoodie I’m wearing! I really, really love the colour, too. I’m glad I went (a bit) beyond what I usually buy and chose a very bright colour. It’ll be a nice spot of colour once the days become darker and greyer.

It’s also great for covering up those bad hair days. I did this on Friday with huge success. No one noticed I had a bad hair day at all! (Perhaps this was because my face was puffy and both my eyes and nose were runny, but whatever.)

I love having Martin take my pictures, even if he doesn’t always know what I mean with “You have to get a good detail shot of the hat, but not so much that you only get my face, you should get some of my shoulders and torso too, and… stop taking pictures of my boobs!” Here’s a good shot of me trying to demonstrate:

He he. ;)

The shoulda-been-twelfth

Is it just me, or is “twelfth” a weird word? Did I spell it wrong?

I feel like I’m coming down the flu, but I think I’m going to wait with the final verdict until tomorrow on grounds of it also being that time of the month again. I was supposed to be super productive today (I did write 1½ page and did some research, but not near what I should’ve been able to do in one whole day) but I’ve only felt like reading in the Jasper Fforde book I got from the library (awesome!) and eat sweets. I’m having hot flashes and I feel tired and heavy and blank. Here’s hoping it’s not the flu; I so don’t have time for that right now…!

I was productive on the knitting front today, though! I finished my #10 Cabled Cap and hopefully I’ll get Martin to take some pictures this weekend. I’m planning on knitting a hat for him for Christmas (he doesn’t know though, so sssh!) out of Violet Green’s BFL Aran in Midnight Blue and I bought an extra skein for myself in Plum. I think I’m going to make him a Koolhaas. I originally wanted to make one out of Malabrigo because he’s extremely sensitive, but 1) I couldn’t find Malabrigo in any suitable colour in Europe, and when I did find it shipping was almost the same price as the skein itself, and 2) lately it seems he’s becoming more accepting of woolly things. He has two woollen sweaters (wool blends, anyway) that he first complained itched all the time, and now he barely notices. So I’m hoping the BFL will be soft enough that he can wear it around his ears and forehead. It’s getting chilly out and he could use a hat for when we take walks and when he goes mountain biking with his friends. (Just went to look, and the yarn’s machine washable! Huzzah! At least in a gentle wool wash. Though I probably won’t stick it in the machine when it comes down to it…)

Anyway, I really like the look of my new hat. It’s very chic and cool, like in “Yeah, so, I ski sometimes and I’m totally badass at it”. I’m not, really, but I think it looks a bit like a ski cap that all the cool skier girls would wear. So I’m wearing it now and bobbing along to “Sexy Bitch” by David Guetta ft. Akon. Say what you want about the title (I don’t like it myself) but it’s a damn good song. Maybe that’s why I’m feeling so hot? Kid Classic seems a bit flimsy when you knit it on the recommended needles but it’s really, really warm to knit with.

Yesterday we had a meeting about the study trip we’re going on on the 5th semester (in a year). In our class we’ve been talking about cheaper alternatives to China and the US which is where the last two trips have gone to. I don’t have the money to spend 20.000 kr. on a trip after I come back from Scotland. Especially if I can’t sublet my apartment. And it bugs me that I haven’t heard from that girl looking for an apartment even though I’ve sent her 3 messages now! She could at least write me and tell me if they found something else. I’m probably going to put up posters at school about it and spread the word.
Anyway; the study trip thing. There’s a study course here at school where the students are rumoured to be very… arrogant, snotty, bratty, full of themselves, selfish, narrowminded, elitist, etc. etc. No one really likes them. I know a couple from that study course who are really nice, but yesterday they just cemented themselves as being all of the above.

Here’s the deal: to be able to go to a specific destination, your group has to be at least 80% from your own class or 70% from the entire year. So it can be pretty difficult to find more than two destinations. But the representatives from that particular study course, they raised their hands and the conversation went a bit like this:

Student: “So.. what if your class already knows where they want to go?”
Teacher: “You’ll have to put the destination up on the board, for discussion.”
Student: “Yeah, I know, it’s just… we’re over 80% from our class that want to go, so we’re safe, right?”
Teacher: “… yes, but you still have to put the destination on the board.”
Student: “… but if we already know where we want to go, and that all of us want to go, why do we have to put it on the board?”
At this point, people are looking at them and wondering what the problem is.
Teacher: “You have to put it on the board so that it can be noted as a suggestion for a destination.”
Student: “Yeah, but… us in (this study course) want to go to India, and since we’re enough already…”
People groan and shake their heads. It’s obvious what the problem is.
Teacher: “It still has to be on the board for suggestions, so other people can sign up if they want to go to India.”
The students clearly aren’t happy about this, and there is whispering that they don’t want anyone else on their trip but students from their own study course.

It’s so typical. And now no one WANTS to go to India. Who wants to go with a bunch of people who don’t want you there, anyway? The entire school dislike them and they just really blew it for themselves. I think some of them like the hate going on; makes them feel special or something. I just try to ignore them, they’re in another building anyway so we don’t see them much. But I hate listening to them, it makes me want to shake them hard and yell at them to get their heads out of their asses. They’re also making it hard for themselves when they go into the business world; chances are they’ll run into someone from this school later in life because the educations are similar in job outcome. Besides, they’re annoying the heck out of the companies who’re renting office space in their building. I really don’t know why they think they’re so much better than any of us…

I think I’ll go watch TV now and eat some more sweets. I would’ve baked a chocolate cake if I wasn’t feeling iffy but at least I have some sweets left over from the weekend. I so hope this weekend will be more productive!

The shoulda-been-ninth

So I guess this whole NaNoBloMo and NaNoWriMo is a total failure for me. I’m not even that sad about it; I could easily think of something to say in a blog post every day but it would be junk. Just a recap of my day and not even I think it’s exciting. And as for the novel… I’ve written about 1,000 words and I’m out. I have tapped all my creative sources and I’m dried out. Seems I get better ideas when I don’t have a deadline hanging over my head.

This weekend I went home to see my dad and my brother (I was crashing there after a Christmas party with my old classmates) and it made me realise how much I miss them. I’m going home again in two weeks to see more of my dad’s family, and this time Martin’s coming too. I love it when we go home and see our families together; makes me feel like we’re more of a couple. Weird, I know. But it’s nice. Hopefully we’ll get to see his mum on Saturday and then my family on Sunday. There’ll be lots of family visiting over Christmas but we might not make it all – it’s hard to coordinate visits with 4 different families when some of them have bonus kids that have other families etc. etc.

We finally have some more information on Scotland! We got some different application forms today to fill out and hand in as soon as possible. I still have to decide which classes to take – I can only take 3 and I can easily name 5 that would be interesting. It’s also very uncertain that the five of us going will be able to stay in the same apartment building. Hopefully we can at least live close together so we can share expenses for food… For some reason I have the idea that Scots don’t eat pork (is this true?!) and I can’t really deal with that right now. Danes eat a LOT of pork and many of my staple easy-but-healthy dinner recipes contain pork. I suppose you could sub beef or chicken in some cases but it’s just not the same.

The project is looming over us like a bad spirit and it’s driving me nuts. I just don’t know where to start with it! I know nothing about Lithuania, I know nothing about disabled people, I can’t see how we’re ever going to get all the background research done in time and I don’t know where to find all this information. All I really want to do is grab Martin by the hand, shake him up a bit and take him home to Århus. I’m bored and antsy and push for us to spend more time together. He’s busy and stressed and plays more and more computer games to rest his mind. See the vicious circle? I push, he pulls away. So to calm both our nerves I can start planning a trip to Prague (it’s on the blog now! can’t go back!) in June or August next year and he is left alone with his computer games, totally nag-free. I think it’s a fair deal.

Knitting news… there is none. I have to rip back 2 (two) rows on my Swallowtail Shawl because I miscounted and I just can’t seem to get around to it. I joined in new skeins around those two rows and in my mind that just makes things more difficult. But there’s a chick flick on TV right now, so maybe I should watch that and tink back those two rows. I want to finish it… Wearing cashmere and silk and KSH can’t be anything but good!

(P.S. Since I got my wisdom teeth removed, it’s like the molars in my upper mouth are moving back to the position they once had before the wisdom teeth ever entered the picture. It feels weird and gives me headaches. Should I see my dentist? I’d really rather not.)

The fourth

I’ve had one of those days today that you wish would end with you in one of those large, lion-footed bathtubs covered in soapy bubbles with a glass of chilled, sweet white wine in your hand. Some relaxing music by, for instance, Melody Gardot playing in the background wouldn’t be bad, either.

After 6 hours in school (out of which I spent at least one looking at food blogs, like eating s/f which lead me on to a delicious-looking cake over at Lottie and Doof’s) I had an Event Group meeting from 3 to 4 where I managed to delegate a lot of assignments, thank gods. I’m really looking forward to the Christmas party but there’s so much work. After that meeting I had another Christmas-related meeting where I spent an hour exchanging sour words with a girl I don’t know but very clearly dislike. We’re doing a theme for the Christmas Friday Bar this year (at many Danish unis there’s a tradition for the uni bar to open until late on Fridays – there’s usually something going on, like live music or contests or something) and there were different suggestions like Western (no), Hawaii/tropical, celebrity and disco. I was voting for Hawaii since I thought it would be easy to pull off. Out of the 8, six of us voted Hawaii but this girl was dead-set on doing disco. As was her lapdog of a guy she brought with her to the meeting (he’s not her boyfriend – very obvious class difference on the two, and it’s sickening to watch her stringing him along) and they kept saying “We could do disco lights and flared pants and neon colours and stirrup pants and big hair and 80’s music and…”

And this is where I had to stop her. Neon colours are not “disco”, sweetheart. 80’s music certainly isn’t disco! We’d all been saying how we really need to do this 100% so that people will get in the spirit, otherwise we’re just a couple of weird people in coconut bras and sunglasses. And mixing those two decades is not going all out. I think people (at least people here) have a tendency to confuse the disco era, which I believe was the 70s and Travolta and Bee Gees and flared pants and plateau boots and skin-tight shirts. I’m not sure why so many think that 80’s is disco – I know that some  trends carried over for a while, like they always do, but the 80’s was an era for itself (I’m sure we can agree on that!). When I pointed this out, she went quiet and I asked people what we were aiming for if we were going to go with disco. Most people said 70s and I could see she was getting annoyed; I think she mainly wanted sequins and glitter and neon colours so I don’t know why she didn’t just suggest 80s theme.

Anyway. We went with the Hawaiian theme and I’m pleased. I also ate two of the cakes even though there was only one for each and I don’t feel bad at all. After the meeting some of the various committee people went to clear out the storage room we have at school. All the different committees get a key so they can store e.g. leftover stuff from freshman trips in there. I think I’ve inhaled a decade’s worth of dust and chemical particles; the storage room was made when the school was built and we found things from 1988. We found old cartons of corn flakes from the mid-2000’s, pictures from old freshman trips (when people had mullets and moustaches), lots of buckets and bottles of brown soap and inner tubes from bike tires, crusty brooms and fake palm trees and a CD collection from the 90’s. One place someone had spilled some kind of chemical, put the containers back on top of it and left it there. There’s no ventilation in there and it had seared its way into the floor and it just smelled toxic.
I think we threw away a third of what was in there, if not more. And we’re not even done; by 8 p.m. we couldn’t fit more into the dumpster so we had to put the rest back inside even though we were still missing the last third of the room. But we decided to do that another day – we were all tired from a long day, and sorting through years’ worth of trash is hard work!

When I got home to Martin’s apartment I almost fell asleep on his bed, but decided to stay awake to at least watch Desperate Housewives. We were supposed to watch a movie, you know, but instead we watched DH and had B&J ice cream. He’d gotten the fudge-y brownie flavour and it’s gooooood. I wish they sold more flavours here – I’ve only seen the brownie one, the New York Super Fudge Chunk one, Baked Alaska, Chunky Monkey, Cookie Dough,  Strawberry Cheesecake, Caramel Chew Chew and Phish Food. I’ve tried Cherry Garcia at one of the few specialty stores but I wish they had more here – I’ve seen that in America they have … they have many! Many more than we do in Denmark. And I want to taste them all. Maybe they have Ben&Jerry’s in Scotland?

I can tell that I’ve started babbling; I should’ve been in bed an hour ago. Fortunately I don’t have to get up early tomorrow and I think I’ll sleep like a baby tonight. And tomorrow I’ll go get all my cards and maybe bake banana muffins. And now I’ll go to sleep.

The third

Guess what! A policewoman called me this morning to tell me that someone had dropped off ALL my cards with a rubber band around them in the police station’s mailbox. So I get all my cards back! Hooray! I think I’ll pick them up Wednesday; I’m barely home tomorrow – I’m not going to therapy as I still have no money nor bus cards, and Martin needs his credit card when he’s at Siemens.

Speaking of credit cards… We went out to dinner tonight to get out of the apartment a bit. I’ve been putting pressure on him to do something that doesn’t revolve around our apartments, even if it’s just going out for a walk, and we decided that tonight we would go out and get something to eat, buy a tub of Ben & Jerry’s and go home and watch a good movie.

So we went to Papa’s, which is a great and cheap restaurant that makes the most delicious (and huge!) pizzas and durums. It’s a nice restaurant and, as it turns out, a very forgiving one, too. As we finished our meal and started talking about where we would get the ice cream (not many shops are open late in the evening, meaning after six) Martin realised he didn’t have his credit card. After I’d borrowed it over the weekend I gave it back to him, and apparently he left it on his desk at home instead of putting it in his wallet. My first thought was that Martin would take the train home, get the card, take the train back, we’d go get ice cream and then we’d take the train home again together. Of course, this seemed rather unreasonable to Martin (can’t imagine why) and he managed to charm the owner of the restaurant into letting us off and coming back tomorrow to pay our bill.

And you know what I did? You want to know? Of all things, I decide to sulk all the way home that we wouldn’t be getting ice cream. Seriously. I’ve only just realised what a negative person I’ve become. I mean, I always knew I was more of a pessmist than an optimist, but really. Instead of being happy that we had a nice dinner and didn’t have to wash dishes for hours in order to pay for it, I pout and sigh because it didn’t go “according to schedule”. Meaning the night was ruined. So instead of having a nice time, we were both rather frustrated and annoyed when we got home (for different reasons – me about the ice cream, him about me).

I apologised later, of course. I was really unfair. And I can tell I’m weighing him down with all my negativity; he has to pretend to have the extra energy to comfort me and make me happy again more and more often. So I’ve decided I’m going to make a conscious effort to make it better. Because you know what? I’m not even sure I would’ve been satisfied even if everything had gone according to plan. Isn’t that sad? So I’m going to change that. No reason being all negative about everything. Then you can’t ever enjoy anything!

Anyway. It turned out to be a good evening after all – there’s nothing a bit of goofing around won’t fix! And since I’m frightfully ticklish, it’s an easy fix, too. ;) I forgot to do a lot of my homework, and I only managed to write 6 sentences on my International Marketing piece before I realised I don’t know a single thing about Lithuanian geography, history or political scene. But that’s okay, I’ll catch up eventually.

Hope you all had a nice Tuesday where ever you are! :)

The second

So yesterday I said that next up is figgy pudding. The reason for this is simple: I wanted to know what figgy pudding was. I started thinking about it when a plushy toy with candies attached that we sell at the store had its paw squeezed and it started singing “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” in that horribly plinky tune. What is figgy pudding? And why do people want it so badly? Is it REALLY made with figs, or is it like Shepherd’s Pie that doesn’t actually contain any shepherds?

I started out with my friend Wikipedia, who told me that figgy pudding is, in fact, made with figs and can be baked, steamed in the oven, boiled or fried (which I think sounds disgusting). I clicked on some of the footnote links and got to an article which traces it back to the 16th century and states that as figs got more expensive, raisins were used as a substitute. I also read somewhere that apparently, it was also something that Christmas guests would “demand”, in a funny sort of way.

It all got me to thinking about the Danish puddings we have for Christmas. I suppose it’s not really pudding at all, compared to what the English do (fry it? really?) - it is custom that on the eve before Christmas, the 23rd of December, you make a large pot of rice pudding or rice porridge. It’s basically rice boiled in a fatty milk until it reaches a porridge-like constistency. (The rice is a special short-grained kind for porridge, so not jasmine or basmati rice.) It is then eaten with a sprinkling of sugar and cinnamon and a large knob of butter in the middle. In the old days, and I believe I mentioned this last Christmas, if you lived on a farm you would leave a helping of rice porridge out for the “nisse”. If you did something to upset the nisse, who was basically a sort of guardian spirit, he might cause your livestock to get sick, your crops to wither or even burn your farm down. There are lots of old folk tales describing such incidents – quite interesting.

After you’ve done eating the hot porridge, you store it in the fridge overnight to transform it the next day to “ris à l’amande” – rice with almonds. Some also just make it from scratch in the same day. Vanilla sugar and chopped almonds are mixed into the cold porridge, and a whole almond is hidden somewhere within. It is then eaten as a dessert – rice pudding – served with hot cherry sauce on top, and the person who finds the whole almond wins a prize, usually something sweet and edible that can be shared with the family. In our family (and I bet a lot of others) someone finds the almond early on, stores it in their cheek like a chipmunk, forcing the rest of us to eat our way through the huge bowl of rice pudding until we all feel sick. Then he or she will pull it out with a triumphant grin while everyone else groans and shout “I knew it! I knew it was you!”. Good times. :)

I’m getting very excited about Christmas, especially since we have so many Christmas things in the store already (I’m dying to get a chocolate advent calendar soon!). I just hope I don’t get sick of reindeer and Santas and candy canes and plinky Christmas tunes before December.

What do you eat for dessert on Christmas Eve?

The first

It’s the first of November, which means the start of NaNoBloMo and NaNoWriMo (I’m going to hate typing that soon). I cheated a bit and already did some writing as I had to take a shift at work today and need to spend most of the day writing on my project instead.

But first, I think I’ll let you in on what’s happened this past week. It’s been …. interesting.

Monday: I go to bellydance class and get my wallet stolen. It was mostly my own fault; I left it in my coat in the locker room without thinking because we were the only people in our end of the school and the door between the gym and the locker room is open, so in theory you should be able to see and hear if someone comes in. We didn’t hear anyone, and it wasn’t until I came home that I noticed my wallet was gone. I quickly cancel all cards from which you would be able to access accounts. As I sob and try to call Martin and seethe over why some dirty little snotbag had to steal MY wallet, it dawns on me that the creep also has my keys. Along with my social security card, the fucker knows where I live and what I look like. I totally panic, and sleep with a frying pan next to my bed that night. (I do, however, thank the gods that that particular day I left my bike keys at home. I also curse myself for bringing my wallet that particular day, when I initially wasn’t going to.)

Result: all identity and money cards, all receipts, all membership and discount cards, it’s all gone. As are keys to my apartment, Martin’s apartment, dad’s and mum’s place. Fuck. And for some reason, they didn’t take my phone. Can’t figure out if I should be relieved or offended.

Tuesday: I call the school whose gym we were at to see if someone had turned in a wallet. I was thinking that since there was no money in my wallet and my cards were cancelled pretty quickly, the thief might have thrown it away. No dice. I agree that I’ll call at the beginning of the next week to see if someone found it. Meanwhile, I call a locksmith (apparently it’s incredibly difficult to get your housing company to help you out) and have to cancel a group meeting to stay home. I’m afraid to leave my apartment in case they come to my place, and I’m afraid to stay in case they do actually show up. Locksmith changes the locks and charges me 500 kr. on my next rent bill.

I also talk to the bank and schedule an appointment for Thursday so I can get new cards for my own and for the Event Group account (whoops).

In the evening I feel bad for myself and need some pampering, and since I have no credit card I can’t comfort shop online. That turns out pretty well, as I dive in my stash and pull out some cashmere-silk and KSH and combine them to make THE. MOST. LUXURIOUS Swallowtail Shawl ever. Cashmere soothes the soul, anyone knows that. But cashmere, silk and KSH? Now that’s just pure gluttony.

Wednesday: I go to school and try not to think about it. I do pretty well until I realise we have nothing for dinner and I can’t go get anything because I have neither credit card nor cash. I also realise that if someone runs me over, no one can figure out who I am because I don’t have any identity cards. I seethe a bit more and wonder how much it’s going to cost me to get new cards. I also remember I have no wallet to keep new cards in, and debate whether I want to spend money on a new wallet or wish for one for Christmas.

Thursday: On my way to my bank appointment I realise the bastard also got my iPod. I feel like crying again but suck it up because I’m on the train and a woolly girl weeping makes people uncomfortable. My bank lady is very nice and gives me a cup of cocoa, and sympathises with my lack of insurance (yes! I have no insurance!) as I can’t afford both that and my health insurance. We decide it might be a good idea to get some insurance now, and she offers to help me look at my economy. I wonder if I can ask Santa to bring me an insurance policy instead.

Friday: I go to work knowing that that day is J-Dag (the release of the Christmas beer) and prepare myself for a hectic night. At 8:59 p.m. (release time) there are no people in the store. At all. I wonder where they’ve all gone, and am annoyed that we put off many of the evening chores and have to stay later. We sell about 30 beers that night. I am cheered up by the new Christmas stuff we’ve gotten in and am greatful we didn’t start in the beginning of October like some years.

Saturday: Best day of the week; I take the train (using Martin’s credit card) to Helle’s place and we eat a quick lunch before driving off for a nice day of knitting and goodies at Elwing’s house. She’s baked buns and apple-marzipan cake (which was very good despite the fact that she left it in the oven until the sides were so black and crusty they could hardly be cut) and we knit all day. We talk about projects turned bad that you can’t even bear to pick back up, Danish knit design and yarn cravings, and discuss the benefits and disadvantages of Ravelry. We also wonder how it is that sometimes you go to bed with Prince Charming and in the morning wake up next to Shrek. There was general agreement that relationships are hard, and that yarn and buying yarn is nice.

I go home and watch a bit of Barnaby before I pass out, knowing I have to get up hella early next morning.

Sunday: I wake up hella early and wonder why on earth I agreed to take this shift. I remember all the cards I need to replace. Work is actually pretty pleasant – not too busy as a lot of other shops are open today, but enough people come in to keep it going. I return home to find my access code to my online bank account, but with no new password so I can’t check my account anyways. I then sit down to write this blog post, and I think it’s been an okay week, all considered. The thief could’ve gotten into my savings account, or there could’ve been money in my purse, or they could’ve gotten into my apartment and stolen my laptop and my fancy camera. It sucks to have to pay for new cards and locks, but you live and learn, right?

I’ll leave you with this November mosaic. I love finding pictures on Flickr, there are so many talented photographers out there. Thanks for sharing your work.

1. A Wet November Night in Princeton, 2. November Scenery, 3. November, 4. November Rain II

Next up: why Figgy Pudding?

Not even sorry

I broke my yarn diet again this weekend, and I’ve come to the conclusion that my self-imposed “diet” was the result of a moment of panic. See, some few months ago I would buy things willy-nilly, not considering whether or not I had the money for it. I realised my ‘pleasure’ budget had started cutting into the more important ‘food and bills’ budget and I had to do something. So I tried the diet thing, and obviously it didn’t work. First time I broke it was in August already when I bought a lot of Nature Wool on sale. The second time was, presumably, in September (according to a blog search) but I cannot remember what I bought. I have absolutely no idea. That’s kinda scary, isn’t it? … oh wait! It was the angora-silk-lambswool blend and the mustard sock yarn I (also) bought on sale. They had free shipping. I had no self-discpline at all. Third time was when I bought 2 skeins of KSH and 2 skeins of a multi-coloured wool-blend. And fourth time I just stopped caring – I bought the two skeins of bright pink Kid Classic for the #10 Cabled Cap. I was out spending money anyway, you know? Two skeins of yarn wasn’t going to make a difference.

So as you can imagine, the diet had almost no hold of me when me and a couple of nice Ravellers jumped in a car and drove off towards Kolding and Fredericia, for a sale and crafts convention, respectively. I forgot my camera (again) so I have no pictures to show you from the event, but it was fun!!

What I especially like about sales at yarn companies (the actual company, not just a store) is that you get to see yarns knit up. You get to see how they’re handled on a daily basis, how they are stored, all the different colours and even a few new yarns that aren’t even on their website yet. I was especially happy that I got to feel a knitted sample of the angora-silk-lambswool yarn I bought. It felt so nice knit up, you won’t even believe it. I can’t wait to use it! (Some day. I think smaller projects are the way to go for me right now.) I also loved scouring the shelves for different colours, different cones (yarn wound up on cones was cheaper than yarn in skeins) and comparing yarns. It was quite cramped in there – we got there 40 minutes after they’d opened and the place was packed. I’m always a bit scared of some of the women there; some of them look like they’ll rip your arms off if you touch any more of that wool that they had their eyes on.

I did not think of my diet once, but I did keep in mind that I’m moving soon to another country, and it won’t help me a thing if I buy loads of yarn. It would be silly to bring them to Scotland, seeing as they have perfectly good yarn in Scotland, some of which is cheaper than here. Also, you get free shipping from some places when you live in the UK. I like that. So I’ll bring a minimum amount of yarn with me – Helle and I agreed that some lace yarn, sock yarn and other small (portable) amounts would be good. I feel like I want to bring my Cascade 220 because it’s so pretty, but considering that I have to bring most of my clothes, books, shoes etc. I’m not sure I could fit a sweater’s worth of yarn in the suitcase too.

But onto the good stuff – I am very proud of my self-restraint!

This is a new yarn from BC Garn which isn’t up on their website yet. It comes in three weights like their Lucca yarns – Semilla, Semilla Fino and Semilla Extra Fino. The regular Semilla is a DK weight yarn, the Fino is a fingering and the Extra Fino is a lace.

I got the Fino for a large, warm shawl in a dark cerise colour. It might look bordeaux in the picture, but it’s really a deep, dark pink. It’s so pretty! This yarn is also special because it’s organic, it’s very affordable and in the Fino skeins you get a whopping 240 metres. I haven’t decided on a pattern yet, of course, but I can’t wait to knit with it. It seems a bit ‘crisp’ and I think the fabric will be really nice.

I also have plans to buy some of the regular Semilla at some point. Lots of great colours and you can’t go wrong with a DK!

 

I knew from the beginning that I wanted to buy some silk at BC Garn as well. I’d looked at it longingly last time we went, but it didn’t fit in the budget. I had a specific amount of money to spend – about 320 kr. I got some money back from my health insurance because my dentist had forgotten to send them the bill when I got my teeth extracted, and I spent some of it on groceries. I decided the rest would be for yarn shopping, and if I ran out of money, then it was too bad. But I did get my silk!

This is a tiny, tiny cone. It’s 100 grams and has 600 metres of gorgeous silk. Another decision of mine was no green, no blue. I have so much green and blue yarn so I’m trying to branch out. I’m very pleased with this golden yarn – I felt a sample and it was so soft. In a different way than wool. But soft all the same.

I think perhaps Miriam L. Felton’s Mountain Peaks Shawl will look great knit up in this. It’ll be my first time knitting with 100% silk, and I think it’ll be interesting. It’s got great drape, too.

After we’d waited in line, while being tempted by the wall of silk next to us, we all practically fell out of the building. Both Helle and Karna bought lots of yarn, while Lisbeth was a bit more prudent like me. ;) We got back in the car (noting how the trunk could hold quite a bit more) and stopped by McDonald’s – we lived by the idea that any expense made on food would take money from the day’s yarn money. I haven’t had McDonald’s food for a long time, and I still think it’ll be a while before I go there again. I’m just not that into that kind of food anymore, and if I must, I prefer Burger King or Sunset Boulevard. It just seems … fresher.

And then, after a nice lunch of burgers and coke and (for some) ice cream, we continued on towards Fredericia. There were also large crowds there, but since the convention halls are so large, it wasn’t quite as stuffy and cramped. On the other hand, the noise becomes a lot louder, and after a quick tour Helle and I retired to a more quiet part of the halls for a chocolate boost and some knitting.

I like the convention for several reasons. One, it’s not so cramped. Two, lots of crafts are represented. And three, there are lots more kinds of yarns and brands on display than at the sale. Some of it is marked down for the convention, some of it is not, and some of it is overpriced (either for the convention or just in general; imported special yarns (like Cherry Tree Hill) are grossly overpriced here) but all of it is interesting. Many had the new Zauberwolle sock yarns, one had Manos silk-blend (*drool*), several had Noro of different kinds and so on. One booth had THE most amazing display of Shetland wool in many, many different colours. It was like a rainbow wall. And it was very affordable too, and they wound off in 10 gram intervals, and… I bought some.

50 grams of each colour. The top is called “Blueberry”, the bottom “Putty” (though at first I thought it said “Potty”, which I found really funny) and it is gorgeous. It’s from the JC Rennie spinnery, and it comes in 53 different colours. I’m thinking of asking the shop (it’s their “house brand”) if they have a colour card. Since they wind off in many different amounts, it would be a great yarn for colourwork projects. I’m planning to use this yarn for a pair of colourwork mittens – right now I’m thinking “Mittens to Order” by Dianne Mulholland. They’re cute and simple, perfect for my first pair of colourwork mittens.

There are so many pretty Selbu mittens, but I can’t afford to buy any books right now. I really like the old-fashioned traditional motifs and designs, but the ones I found that were available, either for free or for money, weren’t really to my taste. One day I’ll get that wonderful Selbu book whose title I’ve forgotten. And I’ll make lots of pretty mittens.

All in all I’m very pleased with my purchases. I’m especially proud of myself for being very thorough before picking something out, but you know? When I stepped back and looked at all those shelves of yarn, it wasn’t actually all that tempting. Maybe it’s because I’m more aware of my own budget and limits right now, I don’t know. But it felt kind of nice not going all starry-eyed and trying to grab it all at once.

Now I’m off to get a quick, early dinner and then it’s time for bellydance class. I haven’t been able to go the last three times, but thankfully the last two times have been cancelled due to autumn holidays and, I think, sickness. I can’t wait to go again, I feel so good when I get home!

Happy knitting, I hope you have a good week. And oh, I kind of passed my portfolio - I have to send it back when I’ve fixed some technical stuff and done some adjustments to the “alignment” (which I thought I had, but apparently not). That was one down, three projects to go…!

Lethargy

I think a lot of people can relate when I tell you that I look at the window, look around my room, think of all the things I have to do and go “meh”. I would rather sleep and watch TV and eat unhealthy things. I don’t want to go outside because it’s cold and grey and windy. I can’t muster up the energy to do a whole lot – no reading, no homework, no cleaning. I don’t even feel like knitting very much.

I have, though, recently discovered why I sometimes go long periods without knitting. Usually when I’m sad or anxious about something, I try to distract myself by e.g. reading a book or watching TV. Getting wrapped up in someone else’s story, even if it’s just Friends, makes it better for a while. Knitting, on the other hand, sets my mind free to wander and thoughts pass so fast through my head. That is useful when I’m stuck on a project or an essay where I’ve run out of ideas, but when I’m upset and my mind spins (other people with anxiety will probably know the feeling of thoughts spinning so much out of control you’re almost certain that it’s real) knitting just makes it worse. Even if I do it while watching TV or listening to a podcast.

And like many others, I get SAD (Seasonal Affect Disorder) every winter. This year I want to do something about it – I can feel it bringing me down and making me lethargic and draining all my energy. So I’m thinking I should try a D-vitamin boost. It won’t make it all go away, but if I try to get out regularly while it’s still light out it might help. It sucks being depressed all winter when winter can actually be one of the most cozy times of the year! People have really gotten in the Halloween mood around here; we’re selling lots of pumpkins at the store and I see carved Jack-O-Lanterns on almost every doorstep. It’s fun. I wish we could make one, but I think it kind of stupid when I can’t show it off outside, and I’m not sure I’m allowed (or dare) to keep a candle burning inside of it on my little landing outside the door (if I’m being unclear, I live in a building complex with lots of apartments, covered by a glass roof). I’ve also started seeing Christmas candy in the stores (and OH how I want a chocolate advent calendar already!!) and it makes me smile. :)
(Huh, it suddenly occurred to me why so many people have been asking about vitamin D suppleants at the store. Perhaps they have SAD too.)

So not a lot of knitting happening around here, but I’m going to a sale this weekend with a few people from Rav like I did last year. I’n very excited and it’ll be great to get out of this boring little village! We’re going to both the sale and the crafts convention in Fredericia. The crafts convention has a lot of interesting booths, and I hope I’m not too tempted by cross stitch samplers (I do love cross stitching, even if I don’t know what to do with the finished object) but if I see some KnitPicks DPNs I might have to get some. I’m not sure I’m going to buy that much, especially considering that I’ll be moving to Scotland soon and that I’m not actually knitting very much right now. I thought I’d get more of the Shetland wool to make the Lightweight Pullover in a long, boyfriend-cardigan-ish version, but I think that’s a bit too ambitious. Besides, I have nowhere to store it – all my bins are full. As are my cupboards. I’ve started stuffing it in bags that I try to hide around my tiny room. It’s not really working.. But I have found plans for some of my leftovers and “I have too much of this, what will I do?!” yarn. I just have to download (and buy) some patterns, and then I’m good to go! If I ever get the energy. ;)

The Scotland thing continues to bring me up and down. I’m really excited that I’ll get to live with two of my best friends, but the International Office at school hasn’t told us a thing yet. I can tell from some of the others that they have to make resumés and essays about why they want to study abroad, they’ve gotten a list of classes to choose from, etc. but we haven’t heard a thing. I don’t know what classes I’ll be taking, I don’t know when I’m leaving, I don’t know if I’ve even been accepted! It sucks because I don’t know if I should cancel my cable TV, or sublet my apartment, or completely move out of it. Me and Martin sat down the other night to talk about future stuff, and we decided that we should wait with the whole moving-together thing until we were done with school. We’ve been throwing the idea of moving in after I get back from Scotland at each other for some time, but I just don’t see it working out that well, for several reasons.

1) I don’t want to move 3 times in one single year. I just don’t. I’d be moving out of old apartment, moving into new apartment, moving out, moving in again in another part of the country when we’re done with school. Moving is hard and time-consuming and expensive, and I’ve done it so many times in my life that it’s getting old.

2) If Martin decides he wants to work somewhere else than Siemens when he’s done (which is where he’ll be interning the next 2 semesters – they’ve already offered him a job), he is stuck in this village until I’m done with school and our lease is up. That means he might miss out on a good job, or have to pay a lot for transportation. We could get a car, but I have no idea what our economy will look like then and I’m not going to bet on being able to afford a car. Also, I don’t want to be the reason he’s stuck here. It’s miserable here, and if he can go back and live with his mum and get an awesome job for those 6 months I have left, then I’ll deal with the back-and-forth relationship we had in the beginning. We did it once, we can do it again.

3) I’ve had to face that I’m not as ready as I thought I was. I hate change. It scares the crap out of me. Especially if it’s my own choice, like when I moved here in the first place to study and live with Martin. I remember the first night in my new apartment. It was horrible. I was sick all day and I almost threw Martin out because I couldn’t deal with suddenly having a REAL relationship where we lived so close to each other and talked about getting a place together etc. I almost threw up when my dad drove home and I was stuck in this new apartment with boxes all over, a much more serious relationship and a new school where I knew no-one except Martin. Change makes my physically ill. I know it’s something I’ll have to get past if I ever want to do something serious with anyone, but man, it’s hard.
Scotland scares the crap out of me, too. There are too many unknown factors. What if I can’t live with the girls anyway? What if we fight so badly it ruins our friendship? What if I hate the classes I have to take, and fail my exams? What if I find someone else? What if Martin does? What if something happens while I’m away and I don’t know about it and can’t get home, like if my maternal grandma passes away? I still want to go, but I get sick thinking about it. So I don’t, really, and hope that suddenly it’s February and I forget to worry in the mean time.

On a side note: have you read Auntie BubboPants’ column this week? One of the answers and the comments to it really spoke to me. It was the one about doldrums in a relationship, and a girl not knowing if the relationship she was in was “it”, even though they got along really well and she didn’t think she could do much better. I could totally relate – I get so pessimistic when this time of year rolls around and you add anxiety – and I really liked one of the comments in the forums. The poster related how she had felt the same way, and had been frustrated with her boyfriend for getting on her nerves and not feeling like he was “the one” anymore. And then she looked at him and remembered that it was about give AND take, and that it made everything a lot better.
I realised that same thing the other day. I was angry and frustrated with Martin for not giving ME enough attention, for not being supportive enough of ME, for not doing little things for ME anymore; generally not being good enough to ME. Then we sat down and had (another) talk and I realised just how miserable he is. He doesn’t know what he wants, not with his education, not with jobs, not with his interests and hobbies, nothing. He misses his old friends and doesn’t seem to find the same kind of friendship here. He’s sprained (or broken, he won’t go to a doctor) his ankle so he can’t get out and run or bike or otherwise ’sweat’ out his frustrations. He’s totally stuck. And I hadn’t realised at all because I was so caught up in all my own little problems that seem so irrelevant now that I know how frustrated he is. It was a slap in the face for me, since I’ve always proclaimed to be so sensitive to others and so self-sacrificing and blah blah blah, but in fact it was the total opposite and it was just me me me. At least I know now, and it’s gotten better. :) We’ve talked some things over and he’s happier.

I’m sorry to be such a downer in this post. I’m trying to think of more positive things, like the fact that I get to spend Christmas this year with my two favourite uncles. I’m sad my mum won’t be with us, but it takes a while getting used to this whole “1 year with dad, 1 year with mum” arrangement. Still, I’m looking forward to the Christmas holidays. All the projects will have been handed in, I will have quit work (no more shifts!) and I can just relax with my own family and Martin’s family. I also look forward to the day we hand in the project and I get to buy a box of chocolate cereal that I will eat in one sitting, watch some crap TV and sleep for four days. Ah, bliss. And we’ve decided to go to Marianne’s house in December to make Christmas decorations. She’s the only one whose house we haven’t been to yet, so it’s her turn to be the hostess. AND November is around the corner, with lots of exciting challenges. If I keep my chin up, it won’t be too bad!

(Oh. And we get feedback on our Personal Identity Portfolio tomorrow. Marianne said that on Monday (I overslept again) our teacher had said that out of the 12 portfolios he’d corrected so far, only 2 had passed. Ack. I have 3 projects I have to work on this weekend; I so don’t have the time to redo a portfolio. I hope he liked it, even if I only delivered half of it the first time. He never said anything when I wrote a long apology e-mail and sent him all the files he was supposed to have. Please please please don’t fail me!)